I probably should not write when I am angry... but I am. I am angry and hurt.

You see, I spend hours every week talking to kids about bullying and relational aggression. Challenging them to become Empowered Bystanders who will stand up for each other. Exclusion, gossip, name-calling... it is all hurtful, and it happens every single day for some kids.

Yesterday, it happened to me. You would think that I could just see past this, realize that this person who did this me is at fault. You would think I would just let it go, but I can't. Someone I considered a friend asked me to do something for him (nothing illegal, nor immoral... it was a business thing that I was in the position to help him with). Well, he got "called on the carpet" for it, and rather than admit that yes, he did ask me to do this, he threw me under the bus. Said it was all me, that he never asked for my help.

My reputation and credibility are going to take a hit here. And I am angry, hurt, frustrated. I must admit that I have fantasized about what my revenge should be. But, that's middle school behavior, not 40-something behavior. So, I vent about it... to my husband, to my friends... to everyone, except the person who "wronged me".

You should know that I am very non-confrontational. You should also know that I am trying very hard to practice what I preach. I tell children every day, "stand up for yourself, stand up for each other". We cannot expect children to treat each other with kindness, respect and civility if the adults can't do that for each other. It is difficult to admit a mistake; it is easy to blame someone who isn't even there to defend herself/himself.

It is easy for me to vent in this blog and to all my friends who will tell me that I am right. Why is it so hard to confront someone who hurts you? Why can't most adults be open and honest, and above all else, support each other, rather than tear each other down. It does not have to be a dog-eat-dog world, right?

Will you help me change it?

So, I must stop writing, I have a phone call to make...